So recently I've been gettin into the whole groove of things, the dating scene, meetin new folks and that whole shabang. The whole courting phase is pretty fun and at the same time hectic. With round the clock work and a plethora of activities to do I'm finding it very hard to manage everything without some part of my life getting all out of whack.

The whole idea of dating is pretty cool... Getting to know someone (and their friends) better, exploring different places, and generally exposing oneself to different experiences. I find in my normal group of friends I tend to do the same things with them, but when goin out with new folks its a whole new world and a fun one at that. Some party hard, others work hard, and yet others do both hard (I'm still trying to figure out how those folks manage), but the sure thing is differnt people/groups do different things. It's exciting and very rejuvanting.

Then of course in the 'dating' scene its so hard to stay friends after you've deemed each other incompatible and then everything changes. Of course, most of the time ya stay friends but the communication dies down and then there are those few who cut you off and those who you have to cut off to make a point. There's nothin worse than a clingy desparate date! Exploring the sea continues... One always has to be optimistic that Mrs/Mr right is out there for everyone. It's just that magical moment where he/she deems you worthy for their kingdom. Then there are the relationships that pave the way to the final product. Players talk their way in but quickly leave, Infatuation is fun until you realize ur from different worlds, while Lovers can build an empire together.

Posted by Dunowat2do at 04:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So on our monthly roadtrip to go snowboarding, some friends and I got to talking. The topic of discussion Ulterior motives... Its kinda funny but the more people I ask the more surprised I am that they have the same answer. Everyone has motives under the surface and it ain't just about getting to know you. Then I got to thinkin...

I never woulda thought my friends would've been so pessimistic or perhaps I'm a little bit naive. I don't think there's a hidden purpose with every casual encounter. I do think people can be friends for the sake of being friends. If the person is cute then that's an added bonus, but the motives are still the same. Is it true that only gay guys can have attractive friends who are girls! or maybe it is because girls know gay guys aren't interested?

I'm not so naive that I think people aren't out for one thing, but one can usually generalize those types of guys/girls pretty easily. The typical aggressive type that you meet at a club or some homogenous zone where hormones are raging through the air and alcohol is as abundant as the ocean. Then of course you got your slick guys who can just about get away with anything, but they're in a class of their own.

There are people though that just want to have plutonic relationships, why? for advice, support, etc. I know we have our usual friends, but sometimes you just want a different perspective. Sometimes I like to hear about others experiences from different places. People in different locations usually have different perspectives on things.

Its really difficult to get past the whole trust thing when ya meet someone, but at the same time the build up of that is what makes it interesting. It just so happens when you build up that level of trust a bond is created and often that bond is confused between romantic and plutonic relationships.

I'm fortunate enough to have friends of both genders, I can't complain I have some good friends who give me good advice w.o all the drama. Though now that I'm a little older, I kinda want to break out of my norm, but some of the girls I run into are sooo defensive. At least the ones I try to meet. It's the typical story where a past relationship tainted their perception of guys or they're just overly cautious. Of course they have every right to be like that, but it sucks when ya get generalized before even gettin to know one another... I'm not about to break down those barriers either...

Posted by Dunowat2do at 06:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Okay after reading over what I posted last night, I've got to say I wrote down a lot of things and managed not to say what I wanted to say...Which can be summed up simply as, if you look for love, you'll never find it and when you stumble on it, cherish it whether its lasts a day a month, or years. Unless you dig a promiscuous lifestyle... Either way, relationships are chosen by the person and strong will can overcome hormonal imblalance...

There's also a sayin I often recite because its cool and its not always about the person, but also the timing. Right girl wrong time, or wrong girl right time, and then you have that moment when you meet the right girl at the right time and the rest becomes history...

Posted by Dunowat2do at 01:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

One thing I've noticed is that if you're single in your mid twenties, its a whole lot harder to meet people than it was in college. Now captain obvious would say, its a numbers game, there are simply more people around you in college with a somewhat similar goal all in one place. You either 1.) want to party 2.) want to graduate or 3.) mix the two. The thing is, after college, you run into folks who want to either settle down or live it up. Tis one of the great mysteries of life...

So I got talkin again with my single girlfriends and was talkin to them about relationships and how hard it is to meet the 'type' of person we usually go for. For instance, when meeting a girl at a bar or club there are some preconceived notions you just can't get away from. 1.) She still knows how to drink 2.) She there to let loose and have fun 3.) She's there to hook up. Now if you're a girl and you see a bunch of guys, I'm sure girls have preconceived notions about us like 1.) Dudes out to have a good time 2.) He's only there to hook up or 3.) those guys are losers, quit starin at us... Surprisingly these are one of the few social environments where lots of people still get together. Then ya ask urself, do I really wanna hook up with a chick or dude I met at a bar/club? My answer, Sure why not? Hooking up doesn't really have to mean doin the dirty dirty, just makin a new friends is cool... It's too bad that intro's at the clubs are usually preloaded though... I don't think relationships formed outta bars tend to work out cause; when ya met you were party animals and it gets a little depressing to think that you've become all domesticated...

Where else would ya be able to meet folks? The gym? The mall? The library? going back to school even though you've already graduated? I know it's pretty ghetto to look for love in those places, but I'm sure people still do and that there are still plenty of other places... They just tend to be more niche areas. The most frequent answer I hear though, is friends of friends... No preloaded introductiosn, no preconceived notions, just friends kickin it and hangin out. That's when you can really get to know someone with similiar interests. I tend to think those who have things in common will last a while, but even that isn't certain... As they say, bird of a feather flock together... But still, there are folks that like the random hookups... I'm not one to say diversity is a bad thing...

Continue reading "The older ya get, the harder it is..." »

Posted by Dunowat2do at 09:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)